So often, when we want to accomplish ambitious goals, we may feel like we don’t have the time, energy, expertise or room in our lives to tackle something so big and scary. Maybe we are afraid, but perhaps it’s something else entirely. A lack of bandwidth belief can be a sneaky cause of procrastination. It’s not the same as overwhelm…although it may feel like it.  

Getting to that next level in our life or career can often require learning new skillsets or adopting new habits. So why are we pushing the brakes rather than embracing this new opportunity? 

There are several possible reasons, but bandwidth belief rarely gets discussed. For example, one reason for procrastination is that we don’t believe that we have the bandwidth or capacity to pursue a lofty goal, so we don’t even start.  

There are many ways to overcome overwhelm and learn how to add more time to our busy days through automation, delegation and deletion of the activities we don’t need to do. But how do we solve for bandwidth if there’s nothing left to automate, delegate or delete? 

Speaking from experience, it’s likely that we could clear a few more things from our plates, but we may enjoy these activities, and it may not free up significant time resources in the short term.  In contrast, freeing up bandwidth requires us to think differently.  

Here are three questions to help you think differently, start to free up bandwidth and accomplish that big, scary, ambitious goal of yours.

1. What skillsets would I need to learn or get better at to accomplish this goal more quickly?

While we may not have the bandwidth for that big goal, final outcome or end result, we may have the bandwidth to start to tackle and learn pieces of the puzzle. Maybe we can spend an hour per week or 10 minutes each day learning a new language so we can get that promotion or take that dream vacation a year or two from now. Over one year, ten minutes a day is equal to 3,650 minutes which equals 60 hours, or two and a half days. If the average person spends an hour each day scrolling mindlessly on social media, surely we can find 10 minutes to improve a skillset that is important for our future.  

 Brainstorm a list of these skillsets and start tackling them one at a time. Pick those that will add more fun to your day or create meaningful connections with friends and family, and it will be that much easier to accomplish this mini-goal!

2. How would my perfect day, week, and month look and feel?

Yep, time to daydream! 

This is the perfect question to ponder as you walk the dog, drive to work or enjoy your coffee on a lazy weekend morning. Think this one through; visualize your days, how you want to feel and anything else you wish. 

This simple activity can free up more mental space to see your dream more clearly, how it would positively impact your life and even create some breathing room amidst the chaos of busy days.

3. What’s a new belief I could adopt to get me closer to my goal or that would help me achieve my goal? 

One powerful belief I’ve had to adopt is to remind myself that “I don’t have to do it all.” And a mentor of mine had a mantra stating, “Your lack of preparation does not make it my emergency.” So good, right?! When people need something last minute, and their lack of planning caused this emergent need, that doesn’t mean you have to say “yes” to the request or drop everything right now. You can still accomplish what’s most important—even if it’s not urgent—and either delegate or get to this request as soon as possible. 

Obviously this isn’t going to work in the middle of an emergency shift, but it may help plan that next meeting or remind you to say “no” to picking up more shifts when you prefer to attend your kid’s soccer game.  These situations can be super hard in reality but very powerful when executed. 

So what are those mantras, statements or beliefs you can adopt to free up more bandwidth and have a more enjoyable life journey?

There are so many high-performance habits that you could implement to free up bandwidth and be more productive; however, it’s also important to remember you don’t have to adopt them all. Instead, pick one or two that resonate and do them reliably each day. The wins will add up over time.  

Remember how the British Cycling Team went from losing everything to winning the Olympics in just six years?¹ They made everything 1% better, one thing at a time, until they were gold-medalists. Sometimes we need to think small, accomplish marginal gains and recognize that these small wins will add up to massive success over time.  

Even just ten minutes a day of consistent daily action always wins over procrastination and hopes for a five-hour block of time to tackle that enormous task. You may not have the bandwidth for a five-hour project, but we often believe we have the bandwidth for just ten minutes a day. +

References:

1. How 1% Performance Improvements Led to Olympic Gold. (2015, Oct., 30). Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2015/10/how-1-performance-improvements-led-to-olympic-gold

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So, what can you do when you find yourself tired, exhausted and no longer energized by your love of veterinary medicine? Is it truly time for a career change, or do we need to feel inspired again? And if so, how do we do that?

Here are five simple ways that are backed by science and help me get back on track and refill my cup when my energy and zest for life are lacking.    

1. Experience wonder and Awe.

Science has found time and time again that experiencing awe in nature or everyday life can inspire us to be kinder and experience more positive emotions.¹ Positive emotions are one of the five building blocks of wellbeing in Dr. Seligman’s PERMA^TM theory of wellbeing in positive psychology.²

Start dreaming again. One easy way to do this is to complete this journal prompt: Wouldn’t it be cool if …

• Wouldn’t it be cool if we could schedule a vacation to ____?
• Wouldn’t it be cool if I could triple my salary and work fewer hours or days per week?
• Wouldn’t it be cool if I could ride my horse in the middle of the day and still pay my bills?

These are just a few ideas to get those neurons firing, so grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, a pen and paper, and carve out some uninterrupted “me” time to practice dreaming again. 

2. Use the power of questions and prompts to positively direct your mind.

This is a proven part of positive psychology. Our patients can’t talk to us, and we practice identifying what’s wrong through observation. It makes us great in veterinary medicine; however, we need to start flexing our positive thinking muscles to determine what’s going well. You may recall the “Three Good Things” research that showed identifying three things that went well today and how you were a part of the positive outcome for just two weeks will have you feeling happier and less depressed for up to six months.³

3. Reclaim time each week or month to be artistic.

Maybe it’s taking a painting class, grabbing a crayon and coloring book for 20 minutes or taking your camera/phone on a nature hike. “A lot of research these days is establishing arts participation as a health behavior. That’s a really important thing for us to think about in public health,” said Jill Sonke, Ph.D. in a recent article for  The Nation’s Health.⁴ So, instead of science or the arts, we are now talking about science and the arts as a part of being healthy and happy.

4. WONS your day!

I know I’ve “WONS” my day when my water, oxygen (exercise), nutrition and sleep are on track to fuel my body properly. You don’t have to be a premier athlete to experience high performance and greater health and happiness in your everyday life. Our founding fathers thought it was important enough to include in the Declaration of Independence that every American would have the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.⁵ 

What’s one simple action you can take today to feel better? It could be as simple as a few deep breaths outside in the fresh air between appointments or having a bottle of water nearby.

5. Say thank you.

I recently interviewed recognition expert Sarah McVanel for my podcast and she shared that the number one way most people want to be recognized or appreciated is with a simple Thank You, and 80% of them also enjoy a card or note of appreciation. This activity helps satisfy our basic human need for connection, another building block of the PERMA^TM theory of wellbeing. When we do something nice for others, we also boost dopamine and serotonin, which help us feel happier and less stressed.⁶

There are so many easy ways to relax, unwind and simultaneously do something good for our health, our wellbeing and promote a more positive culture in the workplace. It’s a win-win for work-life happiness and it doesn’t have to add one more time-consuming, stressful thing to our already over-filled plates. +

References:

1. The Power of Awe: A Sense of Wonder Promotes Loving-Kindness. (2015, May, 20). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-power-awe-sense-wonder-promotes-loving-kindness

2. Perma™ Theory of Well-Being and Perma™ Workshops. Penn Arts & Sciences. https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/learn-more/perma-theory-well-being-and-perma-workshops

3. Find Three Good Things Each Day. Action For Happiness. https://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action/find-three-good-things-each-day

4. Role of Arts in Public Health Capturing Interest. (2021, Sept). The Nation’s Health. https://www.thenationshealth.org/content/51/7/1.2

5. The Declaration of Independence. (1776, July, 4). Mount Vernon. https://www.mountvernon.org/education/primary-sources-2/article/the-declaration-of-independence-july-4-1776/

6. The Art of Kindness. (2020, May, 29). Mayo Clinic Health System. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/the-art-of-kindness

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But what happens if you take that career leap of faith? Is it the right next step to get where you want to go if you aren’t quite sure where exactly that is?

Perhaps we didn’t accomplish that ever-elusive goal or dream that has been on our minds this year, but we are just too busy and don’t have enough time, money or energy to pursue it. If you are finding yourself saying, “Next year will be different,” then now is the time to dream again and think about how you want your life to look and feel.  

What does success mean to you?

Whenever I feel “off” or lost, wondering how I got here, I finish this simple phrase and remind myself of what is most meaningful to me right now: “I feel successful when….” This journal prompt can, in an instant, re-center you and remind you of what is most important and meaningful right now, at this moment. Then, ask yourself to complete this sentence: “I can accomplish this by….”

Any time you find yourself saying, “I can’t” or “it’s not possible for me,” that’s a clue to rephrase that thought into, “but if I could, how might I accomplish this? What can I do to get one step closer?”

Success is deeply personal and different for everyone, which is why, “What’s your definition of success?” is one of my favorite questions to ask on my podcast.  

Here is my favorite way to align goals and dreams, no matter my current situation, to achieve my definition of success with the three steps to “Key Decision Framework:”

1. Complete the sentence, “I feel successful when ______.”  

Write this at the top of the page in big, bold letters and make sure it resonates with you. If you accomplish this, even if it’s not how you imagined, will you still feel successful? 

Can you change your perspective on how you have to accomplish being successful? 

Keep working through this process until you can let go of “how” you accomplish your definition of success. Then, you might even realize that you are successful right now, at this moment, and are living the life of your dreams. How cool is that?!

2. List your goals in each of the five key areas of life.

The five key areas of life are Health (physical, mental, wellbeing), Relationships (interacting with others), Career (mission, purpose, improving skillsets), Spirit (hobbies, spiritual) and Finances.

3. Ask yourself, “What is the one key decision that I can make or have been avoiding making that would help me progress towards my goals in ALL five areas?”

These areas of life are not mutually exclusive, yet all intertwine and overlap. Think of a Venn diagram with five circles, one for each of the five areas of life. Write your goals in each of the five circles, then ask yourself, “What’s in common with them all?” And, finally, “What would be the key decision that fits into the overlapping space?”

That decision might be about a hobby you’ve been putting off, but when you look at your life holistically, it’s the one decision that is like a stick stuck in the wheel of your bike. When you remove that obstacle, it propels you forward in all areas, or unlocks the wheels of your bike, so that you can more clearly see opportunities to accomplish all of these seemingly disparate goals. 

There is no one right way to achieve your goals and dreams. They are your dreams, so dream big, live life to the fullest and enjoy this crazy journey we call life. +

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Perhaps it was something else entirely. However, was your reason to be of service in some way?

If we entered this profession to serve, when did the worry, stress and anxiety step into the picture? After all, that wasn’t part of the plan.  

Scroll through your social media channels and you will easily find the stress and overwhelm plaguing the veterinary profession front and center. So, how do we change course to live happier, more fulfilling lives?

No matter where you find yourself today, I challenge you to raise your ambition for a better future. Ambition is not a four-letter word. Ambition is the motivation that drives us to serve more and live a more vibrant, fully-charged life. Isn’t it a good thing to be happier and more joyous around our family, friends, clients and patients?

Here are a few science-based ideas on how you can easily hack your brain and start living that vibrant life of purpose you desire and deserve. If you are reading this thinking, “Nah, I’m good,” these are also easy ways to kick the happiness, joy, life satisfaction and career impact up a notch, too.

1. Let go of perfection and change perspective.

There is a reason it’s called the practice of medicine; mistakes will happen. That’s why it’s essential to take time and ask yourself each day, “What might trip me up and how would my best self handle that situation?”

We can never know what will go wrong, but if we constantly worry about what might happen, that’s a clue. If that big scary worry monster did happen, how would you adapt and overcome that situation? Who can help you navigate that situation more effectively?

I learned this the hard way while running for office. I pressed myself to do every interview, even though I didn’t feel ready. I wanted to support a local high school newsroom and agreed to an on-camera interview, during which, I forgot a very simple and basic term in the middle of my sentence. It just flew out of my head. A total deer-in-the-headlights look was caught on camera, and it’s still up on YouTube to this day. It was one of my most embarrassing moments. 

A few years later, I worked a veterinary relief shift and met a young man who shared with me that he had googled my name when he saw I was the doctor on the schedule. He watched that embarrassing interview and shared that he didn’t even really notice my mistake, loved the message that I shared and wished he had lived closer to help me during the campaign.  

Wow! My most embarrassing moment was one of his most inspiring moments.  

If you do your very best in every moment, you should be proud of your efforts and keep working to improve your skillsets. Simply asking, “How might others view this more positively?” can help you see things from another perspective and flip that situation on its head. Or perhaps you can remember a time when you were in a similar situation—reminding yourself of how you overcame obstacles in the past can set you on a more positive trajectory for the future.

Do you want to feel more motivated each day to tackle that difficult task? Having a growth mindset and learning from setbacks could be related to intrinsic motivation and help you do just that.¹

2. Keep positive thoughts at the forefront of your mental dashboard.

The research is clear on this one. Bryan Sexton’s research out of Duke University revealed that a mere 14 consecutive days of identifying three things each day that went well and how you were involved in each favorable outcome had long-lasting, positive results.² This intervention may be more effective than selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to treat provider burnout and depression.³

It seems crazy that something so simple can have such profound results; but hey, who are we to argue with science? The brain is amazing and has neuroplasticity so we can retrain and hack our brains to feel more positive emotions, even on the most challenging days. Having a more positive mindset enables us to make better decisions for the clients and patients we serve.

3. Stop Comparing.

Social media can be a great tool to connect with friends and promote our businesses; however, it can also be detrimental to our wellbeing when we see photos of everyone’s vacations and impeccably clean homes. But really, who is going to take a picture of their foyer after a week or month’s worth of mail and Amazon packages have piled up? 

You have a unique voice and perspective that the world needs right now more than ever. When you feel like you don’t fit in or aren’t like everyone else, remind yourself that you offer an important perspective and are a valuable team member. After all, if you weren’t there, your unique voice and perspective wouldn’t be there to advocate for your patients’ wellbeing either.  

Often, uncertainty and stress can arise from simply not living in alignment with our values or trying too hard to be like everyone else to fit into any given situation. Others don’t need to appreciate or like you for you to appreciate you. The three good things (3GT) practice described above can help here, too. 

When we focus and pay attention to all of the good we are creating in the world, there’s less time for stress, worry or playing the comparison game. Researchers found that limiting social media use, across all platforms, to 30 minutes or less per day resulted in an improved sense of wellbeing.⁴

Spending just ten minutes a day thinking or journaling about the three good things that happened today and how we were a part of that can have long-lasting and positive effects on our mental health for up to a year after only two weeks of this daily practice.  

If you can’t find ten more minutes in your day, here’s a time-neutral way to fit these hacks into your busy day: Trade ten minutes of social media consumption to find time for this activity and see how good it feels to recognize yourself for a job well done. +

References:

1. Ng, B. (2018, January 26). The Neuroscience of Growth Mindset and Intrinsic Motivation. Brain sciences. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5836039/
2. Roth, B. (n.d.). Three Easy Ways to Find Your Resilience. Duke Today. https://today.duke.edu/2016/02/resilience
3. Sexton, J. B., & Adair, K. C. (2019, March 1). Forty-five Good Things. BMJ Open. https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/9/3/e022695
4. Holmes, L. (2018, November 14). This Is How Much Time You Should Spend On Social Media Per Day. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-much-time-on-social-media_n_5be9c148e4b0783e0a1a8281

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The answer to that question, as well as the others, depends on your perspective, but also what is most meaningful to you and what you define as success. 

When we feel overwhelmed, uncertain or, quite frankly, just worn out and tired after a busy day or week, a favorite high performance habit is to use the power of questions to direct our mind positively. And, of course, after a good night’s sleep, we will often find a fresh perspective in the morning. 

But what do we do when that’s not enough? 

We take some quiet time to think about what we want in life and what is most meaningful to us. The answer might surprise you; it might not be what we think we want or what we think others expect of us. Sometimes we feel stuck because we are more worried about what someone else might think, about the criticism we might receive…or that big scary worry monster called student debt. 

It’s easy to hold ourselves back from taking action towards what’s truly important. It’s often difficult to make that tough decision when we fear someone we care about might feel hurt or disappointed by our decision. If we genuinely want to have joy, happiness and the personal freedom we desire, then our job is to figure out what that looks and feels like for each of us.  

Our core values of integrity and following through on what we promised ourselves are excellent values to have. Still, occasionally we can use them as an excuse to hold ourselves back from pursuing a dream or making a key decision that we know deep down we need to make but we’ve been avoiding. 

How do we know when we are making excuses vs. when we are making decisions aligned with our values and the best of who we are? Our emotions and gut feelings are a good clue, as are the stories we are telling ourselves; our self-talk.

Have you ever heard yourself utter this statement: “I’ve wasted the whole day; I got NOTHING accomplished; I’m NEVER going to get it all done!”

Me too—and on more than one occasion and more recently than I’d care to admit—but I’m making progress as now I’m aware of these thoughts. Before I found the high performance coaching framework, I just kept telling myself these stories, completely unaware, overwhelmed and frustrated. Maybe you can relate?

Here are three super simple and fun ways to regain perspective and help you get the train back on its tracks if you take an unexpected detour. 

1) Write down what time you got up this morning and the time it was five hours later. Then list off all of the things you already accomplished in those five hours. 

This is a great activity when you feel overwhelm creep in and that you’re not moving enough big projects forward fast enough. 

When you stop and write down all you accomplished in the first five hours of your day, it is amazing! Did you meal-prep or plan your dinner, work out, get the kids dressed and off to school, do a load of laundry, walk the dog, feed the cat and get to work on time? 

Congratulations! You moved every area of your life forward BEFORE you got to work today! Sometimes all we need is to shift our perspective to realize we are living the life of our dreams, and it’s okay to appreciate all we have accomplished, the ups and downs, and slow down to feel less frantic.  

Working out and planning meals are important to our health. Caring for kids or family is vital to maintaining positive relationships. Cooking leftovers or pulling something out of the freezer rather than eating out is a positive move for our wallets and waistline. Walking the dog and spending time with pets are good for our spirit. And, you are showing up as your best self at work, on time! 

That’s what work-life balance is; doing what’s important across all areas of our lives. Why, as busy professionals, do we sometimes think that if it isn’t work-related, that it doesn’t count? 

2) Reset your clocks and take a do-over.

If you are still frustrated by the first activity’s outcome, why not try this brain hack?

Changing your clocks’ time is one way to quickly shift your perspective and more easily come up with a workable plan to tackle those big projects or get your day back on track. 

Before you start saying, “I can’t, you are crazy for suggesting this.” Google calendar is pretty impressive, and time is arbitrary. So why not trick your brain into feeling less stressed? 

People with appointments will still show up at their scheduled time, so what does it matter if your clock says 10 a.m. or 7 a.m.? Something as simple as mentally giving yourself a few more hours can make a tremendous impact and provide more time and space to wrap your head around when and how to tackle that next big project.

I did this once. I was so stressed out and disappointed in my lack of progress by 9 a.m. that I created a solution that forced me to have a new perspective. After all, the time on the clock was the source of my stress and frustration, so, rather than give up and lose a day of productivity, I reviewed my calendar, saw meetings scheduled on the west coast and reset all of the clocks back to 6 a.m. The computer, phone, microwave and stove were all reset in a few short minutes, and I turned on the alarms for my appointments to ensure I wouldn’t miss them. After all, my clients were just now getting up for their day, and I reclaimed some time to move big projects forward before my meetings started. I completed my work by noon, and not only did I take the afternoon off, but I also didn’t lose a day of work—I was more productive! 

3. Ask questions for perspective.

Maybe resetting all the clocks in your house isn’t your thing, and while it was a fun challenge or experiment to see if it would work, the outcome may be the same as positively directing our minds through asking questions. 

What’s another perspective? 

Sometimes viewing the obstacle from someone else’s perspective or being your own best friend and asking yourself what they might say can help you brainstorm solutions. If you develop one or two possible solutions, try to see if you can find five or 10. If you get stuck, go work out, take a nap or go for a stroll outside and see if more solutions appear. 

How can I accomplish everything by the deadlines?  

Asking, “How can I…” frames the question in a way that tells our brain it is possible and there is a way. If we ask, “Is it possible to accomplish everything?,” then we give ourselves an easy out, and our brains will say, “Hey, I found a quicker, easier solution; let’s say ‘no.’” We have to train ourselves to ask questions that get us closer to our desired result, and a few words can make a big difference. 

Is my deadline arbitrary?

Is this a self-imposed deadline, like a New Year’s resolution, that we are panicking about because the year is slipping by and we haven’t started it yet? If it’s important to you, take out your calendar, pick a date 30, 60 or 90 days in the future and park the idea there. Then you can free up that mental space it was occupying for more pressing tasks. 

Is this project important, does it have meaning to me, or will it move me closer to my goals?

Ask this question about each of the five areas of life and see if it has meaning or is important to your health, relationships, finances, spirit/hobbies or mission/career. If not, then ask, “Why do I want to accomplish this?”

When we do the work and still can’t figure out how it will be possible to get it all done, we need to have faith and remind ourselves that we’ve been in this situation before. It all magically worked out when we stopped worrying and focused on the current project or conversation.

The simple act of focusing on what you can accomplish and control at this moment frees up so much mental energy that you can now focus on living fully, with joy, at this moment, simply by shifting your perspective. +

The post It’s All About Perspective appeared first on PetVet Magazine.

When we are rushing through our days, just trying to get everything accomplished and not forget to check on our patients or pick our kids up from practice, it’s easy to lose sight of our goals, our dreams and the priorities we had hoped to accomplish. This is also how overwhelm creeps in, and you suddenly realize there isn’t enough time, money or energy to accomplish everything you had promised…or is there?

After years of self-reflection and coaching clients in various disciplines ranging from veterinary medicine to the campaign trail, I noticed that being overwhelmed is often the indicator that we are not living in alignment with our values or haven’t maintained a boundary. In other words, we are not consistently living in alignment or congruent with the best of who we are and who we know we can be.

The keyword here is consistent. Our brains are silently keeping score of when we show up and follow through—and those times when we either forget to show up or don’t follow through. We need more checks in the “win” column to feel more confident in our abilities. So, how do we get more wins when much of what we do in the practice of medicine is simply outside of our control?

When I start to feel overwhelmed, like a failure or just in a funk, here’s how I break it down to get back on the path towards living my best, most confident life and how many of my clients do the same.¹

First, write down everything that is stressing you out and make a list. I’m not a to-do list person, but it doesn’t look as scary or overwhelming as it may feel when I can see that stress in black and white on the page in front of me.  

Next, think about your priorities in the five areas of life: health (physical and emotional), relationships (connection with others), finance, mission (personal and professional) and spirit (hobbies, adventure, fun). Are any of these on the list, and what are they? Maybe we’ve forgotten about them entirely, or perhaps they are masquerading as not urgent or important in light of the other shiny worries clamoring for our attention.  

Then make a grid. Yes, I’m the math and data geek, but I won’t make you determine the slope of a line on this x-y axis. In the top left quadrant, write “urgent + important,” the top right quadrant write “not important + urgent, the bottom left is “not urgent + important,” and the bottom right is “not urgent + not important.” 

You may recognize this as the Eisenhower matrix.² President Eisenhower made this famous when deciding which items to tackle, which to delegate and which could just be ignored or removed from his plate. If not doing something adds stress to your life, then grab your calendar and schedule it three months from now. In ninety days, you’ll have a better perspective of if it’s necessary or if you can just not do it.  

The goal here is to identify what is both urgent and important and do those items first. Friendly hint: Not everything is both urgent and important. So how do we determine what is really important? 

Remember that exercise we just did with the five areas of life? Is it essential to one of those five areas and is it of high importance or low importance? Then for the items that are urgent but not important, can you delegate them?  

Here’s where we get tripped up; we do the urgent items that are not important before we do the important projects that are not urgent. That’s where we experience the negative emotions because our brains know that we aren’t congruent or living in alignment with what we said was most important to us (our values).

A simple hack to trick our brains and get us back on track to experiencing more joy, happiness and confidence with less overwhelm and stress focuses on what is important but not urgent. Are there a few items that are easy that we can quickly close the loop on? Check the important boxes first and then the urgent ones. Just get something, anything, accomplished and off of your plate, then celebrate how good that feels. If we can get only one or two simple things moved forward, we are telling our brains a new story; “I am capable, I followed through with integrity on what I promised—I got this!”

With this new-found confidence, make a plan for those important projects that aren’t urgent. The ones that take hours, days or even weeks of uninterrupted time that we’ve been procrastinating on, because who has a three-hour block of uninterrupted time these days?

What are the three to five big pieces of the puzzle that will get this project moved forward to completion? Grab a clean sheet of paper and write those across the top. Under each one, write what the two or three needle-moving activities are; the bare minimum to get this piece of the project accomplished. Do you know how to do it? Have you done it before? Do you need to learn something? What can you do first? 

Often, once we break those big projects down into smaller sections and subsections, they aren’t so big or overwhelming and we learn that it doesn’t have to be done in just one order. Can you knock off some of the more manageable parts and pieces to gain momentum and confidence towards the more complex or time-consuming details?

Make a plan. When are you going to do these needle-moving activities? Where do you have pockets of 5, 15 or 30 minutes to start to knock this off your plate?

We often don’t have the confidence when we don’t feel competent, which is why we talk about the confidence-competence loop in high performance and positive psychology. It’s a self-perpetuating or infinite loop. When you feel more competent or capable, you have more confidence so you can and will perform that next task with excellence. We need to practice those skillsets to become both more competent and confident.³ 

As veterinary professionals, we are smart, strategic people who can devise a plan and reasoning as to why something can’t be done that will be airtight. So, today, I’m challenging you to ask yourself, how can I do this? Where can I find the time?

Finally, go with the flow. Be grateful for all of your successes, wins, challenges and the times you were a hot mess but you showed up fully and did your very best to push yourself to learn and grow along the way.  The more we celebrate the little wins and fully integrate those into our identities, the happier and more confident we will feel. Allow yourself to ride the wave of momentum you are creating by accomplishing these tasks.

That simple act of appreciating yourself for a job well done puts more points in the “win” column and tells your brain that you have the clarity around what’s important because you showed up and followed through. You are capable and competent, and therefore, you feel less overwhelmed and have more confidence in your abilities.  

This is one tangible formula for how we can hack our brains and put the competence-confidence loop into action and convert that overwhelm into confidence. +

REFERENCES:

1. Demaree, A. (2020, March 27). Quick Tips to Overcome COVID19 Overwhelm [Video blog post]. Retrieved February 15, 2021, from https://youtu.be/WNSm0ctEFcA
2. Clear, J. (2020, June 09). How to be more productive by using the “eisenhower box”. Retrieved February 15, 2021, from https://jamesclear.com/eisenhower-box
3. Dehmer, J. J., Amos, K. D., Farrell, T. M., Meyer, A. A., Newton, W. P., & Meyers, M. O. (2013). Competence and confidence with basic procedural skills. Academic Medicine, 88(5), 682-687. doi:10.1097/acm.0b013e31828b0007

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When in doubt, get back to basics. Maybe you’ve heard about the “KISS” process and that infamous acronym, Keep It Simple Silly (KISS), or perhaps it’s a new concept for you. Either way, it’s one that reminds us that when we feel doubtful, stressed, overwhelmed or on the brink of burnout, to take a deep breath and get back to basics. 

The tried-and-true basics of leading a team no matter the industry, in my opinion, with experience and training as a military officer, veterinarian, politician, certified high performance coach, entrepreneur and podcast host, can be broken down into these five simple concepts and action steps:

1. Set intentions and boundaries.
2. Role model behavior.
3. Invite others to participate.
4. Recognize and celebrate achievements. 
5. Work on your personal development. 

When I reflect on all of the training I’ve received, serving in varying and diverse roles throughout my veterinary career, these are the five concepts that keep appearing and re-appearing as a common thread, and they are behaviors that also lead to success. Four of them were referred to as the “Four Vital Behaviors” in one such training. Powerful stuff.

1. set Intentions and Boundaries

First we need to set our intentions and boundaries. You may have heard this referred to as “setting your vision,” “your why,” or “getting clear about your goals.” This is important because it’s what keeps the train on the tracks and prevents us from getting derailed along the way. 

Think about that difficult conversation with a friend, family member or co-worker. If you took time to first ask, “What are the goals or outcomes I’d like to achieve here? How do I want them to feel? How do I want to feel?” and really thought about these questions and set some internal intentions before that conversation, would it have gone better? Would you feel calmer and more prepared when you are clear about wanting to also serve their needs and improve the outcome for all?

When new groups come together, the leader must share their leadership style, vision, goals and boundaries. Boundaries can simply be what the leader expects of the employees by giving them guardrails and allowing them space within those barriers to create new and innovative solutions for the group’s betterment. For example, saying something like, “I care about you and your families and understand we are navigating a new situation. I expect clear communication, and here is our new policy to help everyone meet their personal and professional needs right now. If you believe this policy is missing something important, please take that to HR so we can evaluate it promptly and consider your viewpoint.”

Great leaders then follow up, hold another meeting sharing any issues that were brought up (anonymously), how the issues were addressed and why—considering both the company’s and employees’ needs—and acknowledging any unresolved feelings or problems. It’s okay to be transparent and communicate clearly with others; in fact, it’s often necessary and how we build trust. 

2. Role Model Behavior

If we want to see change, we first must be the change we want to see in the world. This statement is often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi. His full quote, which I feel is much more powerful yet not as catchy, certainly speaks to role-modeling behavior: “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”¹

In other words, role-model the behavior. It’s not always easy, but I do believe it’s necessary; after all, even Gandhi suggested as much. 

3. Invite Others to Participate

If we find ourselves wondering why more people aren’t participating, or if we’re saying statements like, “No one wants to participate,” or “We can’t get anyone to be involved,” the question we need to ask is, “How many people have I personally invited to participate?” 

The days of “I sent the email, and no one responded” are over. People need community; it’s one of our basic human drives for a sense of connection to others. People need to be personally asked to participate—and they want to be asked. 

Sometimes, as leaders, we have to go the extra mile, pick up the phone or look someone in the eye and simply invite them to participate. You could say something like, “I noticed how great you are at training the kennel staff and working as a member of our team. We could really use your voice and perspective during our staff meetings. Is there a reason you don’t speak up more often?” In this example, we acknowledge the behavior we want role-modeled, invite them to participate and ask if there is a barrier or hurdle. We might learn something valuable as a leader in this scenario, and have an opportunity to improve our skillsets here as well as their experience. Win-win!

4. Recognize & Celebrate Achievements 

No matter how big or small, it is important to recognize and celebrate achievements. As busy professionals, we sometimes forget to celebrate our own achievements because we consistently strive for more. Taking a moment to recognize all that we’ve accomplished before moving onto that next goal or task can have an incredibly positive impact on our mindset and wellbeing. 

Let’s do that for others as well! What are three achievements that you can recognize and celebrate others for? Who can you surprise today with a text, note or statement of appreciation? It doesn’t have to be a big thing, but don’t we all like to be recognized for a job well done? 

We sometimes think we are already doing this until we challenge ourselves to make this a daily practice. As soon as I started recognizing and appreciating team members’ efforts and actions more consistently, my whole life improved. The teams I led, both inside and outside of the exam room, became more driven, dedicated and committed to excellence. Even at the end of long, hard days, I make sure to thank everyone for their hard work, acknowledge that I know they did their best and appreciate how committed everyone was to work through it.

5. Personal Development 

Lastly and perhaps most importantly, we must address our commitment as leaders to our own personal development. Each of us, myself included, has blind spots and weaknesses. Part of being a leader is committing to continuous learning, growth and trying new things to improve ourselves, our attitudes and our mindset.

What’s one skillset that you are committed to improving this year? Write that down and take consistent, daily action—even just five to 10 minutes. I’ll bet you improve that area of your life and achieve your goal in record time. 

It’s easy to overlook one or more of these steps during uncertain times or when we feel overwhelmed and are just trying to survive. A mantra that helps me find the calm and strength to take a step back, get out of the weeds and truly support team members is, “Leaders are positive and calm when there is chaos.” It reminds me that taking the time to reflect on these five areas, listen to team members and make additional time for others to build positive relationships, both at work and at home, can have a much more positive impact than completing one more task or sending one more email ever would. +

Reference: 1. Repository of Authentic Information on the life and thoughts of Mahatma Gandhi. (n.d.). Page 158, Retrieved December 22, 2020 from https://www.gandhiheritageportal.org/cwmg_volume_thumbview/MTI= 

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I often get asked, “How do I find my purpose in life? How do I know what that is?” It’s unlikely that we wake up one day and magically know what this answer is. But at every fork in the road, don’t we have that feeling in our gut of what the next right step is or might be? When we are tuned into ourselves and paying attention, it’s obvious what our purpose or next right step is at that moment.

The most important question I ever asked myself to start to figure this out was, “How can I have more fun?”

If you wonder how you will climb that mountain of work, aspiration or ambition in front of you, you might find the answer by asking, “How can I have more fun here? What’s the next step?”

Perhaps you’ve noticed some of our colleagues who have similar jobs and similar work hours, and yet, they are happier, having more fun and seem to be effortlessly gliding through life—while we are left wondering what their secret is. What if it’s just that they are focused on having more fun or on that simple next step?

Let’s first consider another perspective and look at how far we’ve come. We might be standing on top of a mountain, and from our current vantage point, we can see a series of stepping stones, which are the tops of mountains that we’ve already climbed. So, rather than needing to climb Mount Everest over and over again, are there a series of stepping stones that will help you effortlessly step across that divide and safely reach your destination with less hardship, challenge and frustration?

Is there an elevator that can take you to the top without having to climb fifty flights of stairs or carve footholds on the side of that treacherous mountain?

What other opportunities might also get us to our desired destination with less frustration, hardship and struggle, all while having more fun?

Sometimes the elevator in front of you is your team, who lift you up and guide you along the way. You may be the leader, but they make it all possible and add more joy to the journey.  

Sometimes the least resistant path is taking the scenic route to walk a fun path and spiral around the mountain to the top. Sometimes it just takes more clarity to know what you are looking for and asking, “How can I? How is it possible?”

Imagine if one of your mentors showed up and asked you, “What if you took this opportunity? Won’t it get you one step closer to your goal?” Rather than saying, “No, it’s not direct or fast enough;” perhaps you investigate it further and start asking, “How can I get there from here?” Spend less time thinking statements like, “Because it’s not possible,” “Because I have this set of circumstances,” or “Because I’ve painted myself into this corner,” and on and on our excuses go.  

When we pay attention to the language we use and the stories we tell ourselves, we might be surprised at what we hear. These statements are ways of throwing up roadblocks and hurdles to prove we were right or add more challenge and struggle to our already busy lives.  

Instead of using defeatist or self-deprecating language when describing your dreams, purpose and goals in life, or brushing them off like they aren’t that important, what if you shared them without shame, fear or guilt? Or with the joy in your heart and the excitement in your voice that you feel?

What if you started sharing your true self with others, including your hopes and dreams, and discovered you had a mentor who was lighting the way to a secret passage with an elevator to the top of a neighboring mountain? Once you arrived at the top, you then learned that all you had to do was walk across a bridge to the top of the mountain you wanted to climb? Or perhaps zipline across for that rush of adventure you so desire?

We often forget the series of steps that led us to where we are today and are in a hurry to leap to the top of the mountain when that achievement isn’t our purpose and won’t make us happier. The journey is where the joy, happiness and adventure live and allow us to serve our unique purpose every day. Sometimes we need a moment to be still and take a moment for gratitude and appreciation to see the abundant opportunities.

As we find ourselves in an unstable time amidst a pandemic, how do we find the time and solace to live fully into our purpose in life? Sometimes, the most incredible opportunity lies in chaos and uncertainty because it finally permits us to ask those big scary questions.

Four years ago, I hit rock bottom after work eliminated my position—the one that I climbed the proverbial career ladder to achieve; one of only a handful of roles in the entire country and where I thought I’d serve the remainder of my career. At that moment, I started asking, “What did I want in life? How did I want to feel?” I wanted to be pain-free after multiple surgeries and have more fun. 

That simple question and answer led me to put on my workout shoes and move for ten minutes every morning. That one simple act of putting on my shoes led to a series of actions and opportunities that led me to start living the life of my dreams and accomplish more in the last four years—and accomplish what others said was impossible. It is possible to pay the bills while working only two to three days a week and spend the rest of the week pursuing those big, crazy dreams of mine and riding my horse whenever I want.

Here are ten questions you can ask yourself to learn what your next right step might be along your unique path:

1. What is the lifestyle that I want?
2. How do I want to feel?
3. What would my dream life look like each day or week?
4. What can I accomplish?
5. What action can I take?
6. What other opportunities might get me closer even if it seems that I’m moving further away?
7. How can I have more fun and get one step closer to my goals and dreams?
8. Who can I enlist to help me?
9. What can I automate or delete to free up more time?
10. What is one action I can take that is one step in the right direction?

If this exercise feels overwhelming, answer just one or two of the questions. We rarely know what we will accomplish in life or the amazing ways it will all unfold. Keep taking the next right step for you and take time to have some fun along the way, and your purpose will appear in all the decisions along the way.

After all, it wasn’t my lifelong goal or aspiration to be where I am today. I’m living the life of my dreams because I asked myself how I wanted to feel and how I could have more fun. Those two seemingly insignificant questions gave me the courage to put on my shoes and take that next step. These questions might lead you to see your purpose more clearly and live into your purpose more fully each day with more joy in your heart and pep in your step than you ever thought possible. +

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What in our lives won’t be going back to how it was, and how do we authentically lead through this uncertain time? 

As veterinarians, veterinary nurses and members of the team, we are all leaders within our profession. We field questions from the public in line at the grocery store, on vacation and at soccer practice. This need to always be prepared to answer questions can be overwhelming—and now we are called on to lead during a pandemic.  

We are leading our teams and families. Whether we have a job title that states we are a leader or not, each and every one of us has some power to have meaningful and positive influence at work and at home. We get to choose how we show up, what energy we bring to every interaction and conversation throughout the day, and whether we see the glass as half full or half empty. 

The most common question I’ve been getting is, “How do I…?”; “How do I lead my team through a pandemic?” or “How do I show my staff that I care but not be a micromanager or cross that professional line?”

Those interactions got me thinking about authentic leadership, and asking, “What is authentic leadership?” 

Throughout my career, I’ve had many positive interactions with mentors and some interactions where the experts suggested that I contort myself in ways that were both unnatural and unsustainable. And when I looked around, every woman who had successfully climbed the corporate ladder in this particular environment were nearly clones of each other. They all spoke in the same calm and measured way and had the same mannerisms, and it wasn’t authentic.  

So, how do we up-level our game when it comes to leadership and, at the same time, stay true to who we are and connected with ourselves, our families, and the world around us to continue to be our unique and awesome selves?

Melinda Gates¹has been one of the most visible women on this topic of authentic leadership. She often shares how she was unhappy at work, trying to fit into a culture where she was the only woman. She shares her struggles along her journey to find her sea legs and understand that it was okay to speak up in meetings with diverse viewpoints. She shares how she learned that it was okay to align with her core values at work rather than bend to societal pressures or corporate expectations. 

But how do we implement this in our own lives? 

I’ll share a few ways that have worked for me and helped me to be more comfortable living my life rather than by someone else’s expectations for how I should look, speak and act in every situation. 

1) Put a team around you who believes in you.

It’s said that the five people we spend the most time with are our greatest influences. When I stopped listening to the negative statements, the subliminal messages and uncertainty about accomplishing my dreams, it was easier and more joyful to accomplish lofty goals, live into my values and find my authentic voice. I accomplished this by surrounding myself with mentors, coaches, friends and colleagues who truly believed in me and encouraged me to keep moving forward even when times were hard. 

Having the courage and the confidence to speak from your heart rather than your head carries your message further. This has been my personal experience. And when I look around at the leaders who are considered great orators and people who’ve accomplished amazing feats, it’s the one consistent trait that I’ve observed.

2) Know your values.

Knowing your core values can be incredibly helpful with making decisions in the moment and no longer agonizing over them. For example, some of my values are bold leadership and selfless service. When I’m in a meeting and I don’t hear a critical point discussed or the board room conversation is in exact opposition to what our stated goals are, I speak up. Rather than agonizing over how I’ll be viewed or if I’ll be heard or respected, I do the hard and uncomfortable task of speaking up for myself and others to impact the situation positively. 

When I feel uncertain about what I should do in a situation, I ask, “Is this action aligned with my values?” I immediately feel more calm, centered and confident in my decisions.

3) Know your Boundaries. 

Boundaries are another critical piece of this puzzle. Knowing in advance what you will and won’t be swayed on and where you can compromise is incredibly empowering. Brenè Brown shares that, when she feels resentful, it’s oftentimes because she didn’t maintain a boundary in her own life. So rather than feel resentful, angry or hurt, if instead, we communicate boundaries clearly and kindly and are consistent with maintaining our boundaries, we might just find our sea legs too. While this can be uncomfortable in the moment, it can be empowering and build confidence to lead authentically.

4) Set an intention in advance. 

Take time each morning or the night before, just five or ten minutes, to think through each appointment, each phone call or activity on your calendar, and ask yourself, “How do I want to show up in this situation?”, “How do I want to feel?” and “How do I want to interact with my clients and team today?” 

Inevitably, something unscheduled crops up that is not a true emergency, but it’s urgent—at least to someone it is—and it may or may not need to be addressed in that moment. Take time to think through what is needing your attention right now and what can wait. Then ask, “Can we schedule time in 20 minutes, one hour or tomorrow to discuss this so I can give you my full attention?” 

5) Figure out who you are and who you want to become. 

I recognize that is a huge and lofty statement, and I promise it’s not a flippant one. Visualize who your best and highest self is and who you want to become. How would your best and highest self effortlessly navigate that difficult conversation or situation? Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths then visualize the best possible outcome. Visualize multiple positive outcomes and how your best self would navigate each situation. How would you joyously interact with each person in the room? How do you want each person to feel? How do you want to feel? If you get tripped up, how would you navigate the situation?

This takes practice, and it’s not just some new-age woo in the world; it’s science². And if it works for the highest performing individuals in the world, including Olympians and Muhammad Ali³, I think I’ll make it part of my daily habits while on my quest to become the best version of myself. 

To me, authentic leadership starts with figuring out who we are by first identifying our boundaries and values. Once we have our inner compass set to guide us along our unique path on this journey we call life, then it doesn’t matter how rough the seas are or how hard it is to see the path, we can trust that we are making the right decisions and effectively leading through these uncertain times. +

REFERENCES

Forbes, M. (2019, May 14). Melinda Gates’ Quest To Find Her Voice And Battle Power Inequities At Work And At Home. Retrieved July 15, 2020, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/moiraforbes/2019/05/14/melinda-gates-quest-to-find-her-voice-and-battle-power-inequities-at-work-and-at-home/

LeVan, A. (2009, December 03). Seeing Is Believing: The Power of Visualization. Retrieved July 15, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/flourish/200912/seeing-is-believing-the-power-visualization

Ambrose. (2016, August 04). The Secret Exercise That Made Muhammad Ali “The Greatest”. Retrieved July 15, 2020, from https://www.ambrosewb.com/the-secret-exercise-that-made-muhammad-ali-the-greatest/

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We all know that negative thoughts open the door to the path leading to burnout, but when we catch ourselves in the moment, what can we do to slam that door shut and find an open window to escape through?

First, a quick reminder about neuroplasticity¹: the more we think about something, the stronger our neural connections and pathways get. I like to think back to when I was a kid and the neighbors weeded next to the sidewalks, causing our bike tires to get stuck in the deep ruts, and it was near impossible to get out of the rut unless we stopped our bikes, changed directions and lifted them out of the rut. Our brains can be retrained to make new connections. It’s so hard to stop our negative thought patterns because we’ve dug ourselves a deep rut—and it’s going to take some time and practice to create new thought patterns that better serve us.

It’s admittedly hard to stop old habits and start new ones, but once we understand how our brains work, it’s easier to see the big picture and stick to forming new habits and stop digging our old rut and start creating a new, more positive path towards our goals and dreams.

Here are my top five favorite tips to find joy and stop negative thought patterns in their tracks:

1) Get out of the weeds & look for the forest. 

I was recently lamenting that I was no further along with my home remodel than when I started seven years ago—that’s almost a decade! Then I began to look around and remember where it was that I actually started, and I was further along than I thought I’d be right now while improving relationships with my friends and family, and meeting personal and professional goals. 

Sometimes we need to stop and appreciate what we have accomplished and allow ourselves some grace. The more we connect each day with the world around us and spend time enjoying the journey, the happier we will feel. Life’s a journey; it’s not a destination!

2) Stop saying, “I can’t do this; it can’t be done,” and start asking, “What can I do? How can I get closer to my goal today?” 

This simple shift cues your brain to start looking for solutions. After my service-connected surgeries, I was in chronic pain and physically could not do a lot of things I had been able to previously. I had to retrain my thought patterns and create new habits to support my new normal. This one simple action, repeated relentlessly, helped me get out of that rut and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

3) Create a boundary in advance.

We all experience those moments when we feel stressed and realize that we aren’t going to be as patient or thoughtful as we would like. But how do we set these intentions and boundaries in advance of needing them? 

First, think about the buckets of issues you might encounter during the day, then decide which are urgent and important, which are important but not urgent and which can wait until tomorrow. You might recognize this technique as one that is often attributed to President Eisenhower².

For example, if you know there are staff issues and concerns that crop up at 3pm every day, just as you are mentally hitting a wall, can you set a staff meeting for earlier in the day to quickly brainstorm on what the needs of the team might be in advance? Can you schedule the important but not urgent tasks for when you are at your absolute best and can devote the brainpower needed to tackle the tough important tasks? When urgent but unimportant things crop up, can you ask to have them scheduled for tomorrow or later in the week when you have time to think, reflect and show up as your best self? 

4) How can you have more fun today? 

What was it that created a feeling of absolute joy when you were five years old? For me, I have fond memories of going school supply shopping with my mom, who was a teacher. To this day, I love to use colored pens and various sizes and colors of note cards to organize my most significant projects. This brings me joy, even with the most mundane tasks or those I would prefer to procrastinate on, because I get to have fun while doing what is required. I also write positive messages on note cards with colored sharpies and often share them on Instagram (www.instagram.com/demareedvm). 

5) Who can you surprise today? 

I ask myself this question every morning, and by the end of the day, I’ve found a way to bring a bit of joy and fun into the world, and let a friend, colleague or family member know that I’m thinking of them. Bonus: research has shown that giving can improve our mood and feelings of happiness³. Win-Win! +

References

1. Blatchford, E. (2017, November 21). How Neuroplasticity Can Help You Get Rid Of Your Bad Habits. Retrieved May 5, 2020, https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/11/20/how-neuroplasticity-can-help-you-get-rid-of-your-bad-habits_a_23283591/
2. The Eisenhower Matrix: Introduction & 3-Minute Video Tutorial. (n.d.). Retrieved May 5, 2020, https://www.eisenhower.me/eisenhower-matrix/
3. Suttie, J., & Marsh, J. (2010, December 13). 5 Ways Giving Is Good for You. Retrieved May 5, 2020, https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/5_ways_giving_is_good_for_you

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